Wednesday, June 28, 2017

The Big Question.

It's Tuesday around 4:30 p.m. I have no job and I'm in need of a miracle a big one . I'm here to write about love . What is it ? It's something you give ahead of yourself . The problem is if you hate yourself , you can't give love . It's not in you to give . Your full of insecurities you need to hide . Love requires your whole heart . You have to be in a place to give it to give or even receive love in the right manner .

I can't seem to find this love . People say they love me but they are so selfish or messed up they can't give love back . How do I find the right love ? Will anyone ever truly love me before I die ?

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

When everything is a lie

It's been a while so let's catch up . Let me tell you about the horrible emotional roller coaster I went through a month or so ago . My last 4 month relationship didn't work out , big surprise I kind of knew it from the beginning as you could tell from my last post . The day we broke up texting and fighting back and forth in a furry , I wished in my head my true love would just come back and save me . I swear this is a true story . As we text back and forth I received an email from my love that I been waiting for , for over a year . I was so confused I didn't know how to feel . He was back . But had no reason ? This put my heart in a weird place . I went through so much when he was gone . Why was he here ? After talking back and forth a few weeks I asked him . He said it was because he could always just talk to me . As a friend . Hmmm ... I decided then and there to never talk to him again . Left me in a mess of confusion . But for the first time I was free . What an emotional ride right ?

Strange part is right when this ended I met someone knew . I was afraid to be with anyone . How can love be a lie ? My new guy does whatever it takes to make sure I feel loved by him no matter what .

I feel for the first time maybe this is how love is supposed to be . Are there issues ? Yes . Is he the one
I don't know yet . But here I am for the second time loving someone . Here's to a new chapter .

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Dying

I thought for sure you would come home . So much time has passed and your not here . I met someone new , I'll give it a chance , he never reads my writing and that's my heart so I don't know , how can you be my best friend if you don't read what's the best part of me ? The jury is still out on this one . A year has passed quickly . My heart seems to be getting worse my biggest fear is dying and I'm alone . I'm alone right now . The music plays . I'm tired of hearing how pretty I am how am I single but yet here I am alone . People who acted like they cared aren't here , no one is .