Saturday, January 31, 2015


Well my last post was a vent . I feel better after that . I read it and my frustration made me laugh . I was having bad week . But everything is fine . I think that I've had it rough the past year . That was my breaking point I needed to have . Thank you to my small audience for listening to my secret ," dear diary " blog . Unedited and unfiltered . God has been answering my prayers and I'm stress free almost ;)

I don't have anything to exciting to report . But all is well as I lay in bed writing all of you .
What more could I ask for .


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Mid life questions

It's Wednesday , nothing exciting here . Saturday I went out with friends and I was determined to have the wild and crazy night I needed !! Instead it ended up not so wild . I'm about to have a crisis I'm sure . Nothing is changing and I'm trying hard to change it. I'm 36 and I'm about to break some rules . I felt it Saturday driving to San diego , would this night end in tears in which I'm running from in the first place ? Financial stress , men stress , job and everything else ?

I knew my high would come crashing down to this harsh reality . Is this depression or a rut ? Now I'm just venting ......
I have shit bad luck . To think is to create and I'm thinking of how to : find my love , pay my bills and feel pretty again . 3 wishes ?

I used to find excitement in my day . Now it's pounding headache of stress and the silent wish of suicide lumes quietly over my head . I used to be a fighter you know . How did I get so small . How do I get big again ?

Sunday, January 11, 2015


January has set in , so has my new job . I'm trying to start to write again . This alone is good for me . I am staying positive . God and my kids keep a smile on my face through my long 14 hour work days . There has to be more to life than this

If your reading this trying to figure out my 1/11 that has nothing to do with this post although cudos on your cleverness .

1/11 is the number for twin flames and soul mates which that blog is on here as well just read back some you will find it ;)

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Single Mom

This is the life of a single mom . Gym , work , take care of my 3 year old seems to be my daily regamine . Wait .. There's also paying bills .. All this is exciting I know , you just can't stand it ... 

I pray every day for something to happen. I don't have time to do it on my own . 

What I will say is being alone used to be great .Now it's asking myself : why am I alone ? What on earth is wrong with me?

I'm investing my time in training . Hopefully something happens soon ;)