Friday, August 29, 2014


It's Friday night , I'm home sick . Left movies with friends not feeling well . Last few days have been rough , missing him .  It's funny , somedays I have great days because I imagine him still here . It brings joy back , you know the kind when you know your best friend is there waiting for you . Then I have those days where I realize he is gone forever . I cry my eyes out alone in my bed . Not one tear can bring him back . I think I write this blog now , because this is what true love feels like . It's been a month since we parted for good .

He was so handsome , big blue eyes , muscular build , brownish blonde hair . He looked like a dream, and he looked right into my soul . I try to date , I do , but no one is him . I can't do it , not yet .

He's my shadow that keeps me going when I no longer can run the race . I am lucky to have known him , even though he couldn't stay . It's alright to be broken for him , I've never been broken before .

He is my hero . I will love him for rest of my life .

Love song

I'll never get used to losing you .

Thursday, August 21, 2014


I can write on this blog because it's sort of become a sanctuary . A graveyard of a diary. No one really knows exist . Except for you the one or two readers who may stumble upon this very old blog as I sit in bed writing . So tell me audience . In an honest effort , what is a girl to do ? Have you ever lost a one true love ?  I'm trying to sweep it under the rug , I'm not a sap I'm not . I'm not a relational girl either . I'm fine you know . But then there's my heart , under the weight of the day , that's not fine . But I have no control of the lost , so I have to move on , so what to do ? I'll write on my secret blog to a secret audience who can't help me ? Sure you think to yourself ( she will be fine ) . Maybe I will . Maybe I won't . I don't know . What I do know is I haven't a choice in the matter . So I'll focus on excersising , working , God and my kids .

And filling my days with adventure and maybe I'll write about that !

Cheers to love & war ....

And all that bull shit for now :(

Friday, August 1, 2014

Lose Ends

She risked it all everything for in the end to be alone . An unfortunate event . The ultimate risk for her . Because love is a risk , she does not take . But in the end. , he knows deep inside someone would risk everything for him . Does he have that right now. ? I'm not so sure he does ? Either way . Does love conquer all ? Guess not . But at last one time in my life I was brave enough to try . No one can say I wasn't ! Right .