All I can do is trust the Lord . I’m deeply hurt . Deep I can’t even ever write the words . I ask god why do I have to forgive ! Hating hurts less . But I must obey my God . God has plans I must follow his path . My road has been so hard . God is my anchor in this storm . Keeping me alive honestly . So I’m going one step at a time . One step is where I’m at . My pneumonia is getting better back to the gym tomorrow to see if I’m ok . I doubled my seizure medicine that’s helped my seizures . I have an over night EEG next week . I’m going to try to sleep now . I guess lesson is trust in god . Let him rule your heart .